Thieves broke into Oscar Lim’s house and made off with, among other things, Oscar’s DVD player. Among the things they left behind was Oscar’s webcam.

Go here to see stills or video of Oscar’s house being robbed as captured by his webcam.

So I was lying back in my en-f*cking-joyable HMCS Charlottetown room in heart of a big f*cking hospitial, when the doc shows up.

Doctor says, “You have one f*cked up intestine”.

I say, “Get it the f*ck out of me, mofo”.

I was on an operating table shaped like a cross – with my arms out (cause they was full of tubes and wires and sh*t). I outrock those wussy “I rock because I lost an infrequently used organ” sh*ts, because I didn’t get morphine until I woke up.

I now have a giant f*cking zipper-like wound, with not four, not five, but twenty-nine staples keeping my guts in. On top of that, two f*cking eight- centimetre giant stitches that keep the little sh*t staples together. They shoveled out three to four pounds of my misbehavin’ guts.

Unlike all you weak suckers out there, I have four feet less digestive tract. I have no large intestine. I rock harder.

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Robert

Note: Swearing has been carefully edited as Valentine’s Day is no time for swearing. There will be no exceptions, especially none for me.

I can’t immitate Matt’s style. I just can’t do it justice, so forgive the traces of lameness in that post. To understand, go read this.

If you have either a lot of bandwidth or a lot of time, there is a nice amusing feature on cultural demographics called Psycho-Graphics at the CBC’s 120seconds.com (see my earlier comments about the site).

However, as is the evil nature of Flash websites, I can’t provide you a simple link to it! ARGH!* You’ll have to go to the front of the site and look for the feature called “Psycho-Graphics” yourself.

Jeffrey Zeldman, for those who don’t know, is the poster boy of independent content development on the web. His site, Zeldman.com, is fine example of an intelligent person writing interesting things. It’s not a navel-gazing blog site (although there are some great ones out there).

Read this great account of a web awards gala where Zeldman’s site is recognized along with a load of dot-com companies (this was a few years back, dot-commies were like Jean Cabot, telling the king that the waters off Newfoundland have so much fish you can almost walk on the water).

The best part is a conversation Zeldman has with a woman:

“What is your company?” says the bolder of the two. “I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s a personal site,“ I say.

She brightens. “Oh, you mean like dating services?”

“No, I mean there’s no company, it’s just me. It’s entertainment for the Web.”

“Ah. Who supplies your entertainment content?”

“I do. I supply the entertainment content.”

She says, “What is your revenue model?”

I say, “I don’t have one.”

Where are they now? Zeldman is about to publish his book and his website is still a staple of independent content development.

It is nearly 4:00am and the snowplough (isn’t it snowplow? it’s late and I’m going to go with the spellchecker on this one) is burying my car. Something or someone is always burying my car. I would call them names, but Jenn thinks I have developed a potty-mouth (my words, not hers) so I will refrain. For now.

Also. Does anyone have pictures of Yan from the TV show Wok with Yan, or know where such pictures might be found? Let me know.

Am listening to a bunch of Tahiti 80 songs. Am undecided as to whether I like them, or whether they are too sugary, too poppy and too boring. I’ll let you know.

Six hours until I get to wake up again! Yee haw!

It occurs to me that while reviews are all well and good, that perhaps I should be telling you about some events before they happen.*

Thursday go to Fishbones cafe (on Richmond St.) and see Windom Earle along with Port Citizen, The Guthries and Eyes for Telescopes, who will likely have their new album on sale.** Starts at 8:00pm.

Friday go to the alter-cases at The Barn. Starts at 7:00pm.

Saturday go to the alter-cases at Brennan’s which starts at 11:00am. Then go to Baba’s at 9:00pm and see Mike O’Neil, Joel Plaskett, Slocoaster and others.
Or, if you happen to be in Wolfville and not on PEI, wake up at some ungodly hour of the morning and go to Acadia University (it’s in Wolfville, right?). At 9:00am, somewhere on campus, I’ll be reading a series of poems cleverly titled Instructions on Living With Bears and Other More Familiar Animals. Those of you who are currently thinking disparaging thoughts about poems and the people who write them, why don’t you go play hockey, or whatever it is that you neanderthal-motherfuckers generally do.

Sunday go back to Baba’s to see some excellent hip hop featuring Buck 65, Sixtoo, Fermented Reptile and The Goods. This happens sometime in the afternoon.

Following that you should go back to Fishbone’s for a jam session hosted by the aformentioned Eyes for Telescopes and featuring some of the other bands mentioned above.

If you do any of these things, tell me about it.
Cheers.

* I have no idea whether tickets should be bought in advance of any of these events.
** Once I get my paws on one I will offer a review.

Rehashing a few old posts, I will remind you of some great things.

First of all, go visit explodingdog.com. If you haven’t been there before, I assure you that it has nothing to do with exploding dogs. Rather it is a site of fantastic illustrations that will make you laugh and cry (the happy kind). If you have been there before, go again.

Then, if you haven’t already, sign up for our mailing list. We’ll only send you brilliant emails.

Finally, email us. Tell us how much you love/hate us (be specific). Suggestions, submissions, compliments, and insults are welcome: thegeniuses@actsofvolition.com