the grave dangers of not having a car stereo (and owning a Moxy Früvous cassette)

by Steven Garrity

It happened quite innocently. I think someone mentioned an author’s name, or said something that sounded like W.P. Kinsella as we got into my car. Bargainville Naturally (or so it seemed at the time), this caused my three tone-deaf friends and I (also tone-deaf) to try to impress each other with our knowledge of the lyrics of Moxy Früvous’ Bargainville album (“W.P. Kinsella” being a lyric from the tune My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors). If you have never heard of this group or song, you might think that I was making it up. I am not.

As it turns out, our ability to recall the lyrics from the album was indeed impressive. So, here we were, four heterosexual men, driving and singing loudly and poorly. After My Baby Loves a Bunch of Authors, we segue into The Gulf War Song, The Drinking Song, Fell In Love. It’s important to note that of all music to sing badly, harmony-laden a cappella is particularly bad.

Let me clarify something. If you don’t know me, you may be thinking, ‘well, I’m sure he and his jolly friends enjoy singing to each other all the time’. This is not at all the case. Like you, we don’t often break into song with a group of friends. I’m sure, on occasion, we each sing out loud when alone in our respective vehicles, but never when together. That would be weird.

Anyhow, that’s exactly what we did in this case. We broke into song. And not just any song. Practically the whole Bargainville album (or at least 30 second samples of each track). It got me thinking, the odd event that it was. Moxy Früvous rules.

Moxy Früvous. You have to at least give them credit for the ‘u’ with the dots on it. That’s not easy to pull off. Think of Montley Crüe. They deserve more credit than that. If all that comes to mind when you think of Moxy Früvous is King of Spain, then I hereby call into question your Canadian citizenship and loyalty to the Queen.

Bargainville is a fantastic album. It is Moxy Früvous at their best. Self-aware, goofy, smart, and good. Oozing with Canadian-ness. Fell In Love is a good a Canadian song as any penned by Bruce Cockburn or Leonard Cohen. If you know the album, revisit it. If not, keep an open mind, get a copy of it on cassette, leave it in your car for two years, and I assure you that you will not be disappointed.

 

Coffeepot for Masochists.

by Steven Garrity

Have you ever pushed on a pull door? Have you ever stood waiting for an automatic sliding door to open, only to find out it’s a window? Are you sick of the blinking 12:00 on your VCR? Rise up against the tyranny of bad design!

Coffeepot for Masochists, from the cover of The Design of Everday ThingsI recently finished reading Donald Norman’s The Design of Everyday Things. It was an epiphany. It’s a nice feeling when someone coherently articulates your half-baked thoughts. Isaac Asimov’s endorsement on the book jacket sums it up well (if I ever write a book, I sure hope Isaac Asimov endorses it):

“We are all victimized by the natural perversity of inanimate objects. Here is a book at last that strikes back both at the objects and at the designers, manufacturers, and assorted human beings who originate and maintain this perversity. It will do your heart good and may even point the way to correcting matters.”

 

an explanation of the general lack of posts from me.

by matthew

Am tired.

Am considering moving to Bolivia, if for no other reason than it is far away from here and has a catchy name.

Also the undeniable allure of cheap blow.

Am momentarily (hopefully) tired of people, as they complain too much*, tend not to say what they mean, and are entirely too much work to live with or spend time near on a daily basis.

Am overfilling a beer mug and dripping beer on the carpet.

Have been spilling beer a lot lately.

Am considering writing a novel in list form at it is clearly an underused format with boundless potential.

Am still laughing at Rob professing to have an “an old war buddy.”

Perhaps this is funnier if you know Rob.

Have work left to do tonight.

Am done.

* Complaining in and of itself is fine. It is the bedrock of civilization, or at the very least, of my existence. It’s the people who complain incessently and refuse to do anything themselves, who back out of opportunities to complain to the people who can change things, that bother me.

If you’re reading this carefully (and you are likely not) you should be frightfully flattered. I am after all, complaining to you, thus implying that you are someone who matters.

Don’t let it go to your head.

 

Eskimo bob

by rob

A fine website to visit for exciting snippets and great commentary from a smart person is SpinnWebe. I was prodding along his Brainshots section, enjoying myself, and I stumbled upon this one which talked about the “All Your Base Are Belong To Us” craze which I missed (living in a bubble at the time).

I was so amused by the little song-video, I sent it to an old war buddy who pointed out it was “sooo last month”. I decided to follow the handy link Spinn posted to the history of that craze I missed.

The page was interesting but not the focus of this post, the page DID have a link to Eskimo Bob a great series of Flash cartoons. I’m assuming the dudes behind it must be Canadian (I didn’t explore the page greatly, they might have posted this), because the cartoon targets us. One’s in french, another is familiar to us all (I can’t give that away).

It has the same charm as Pokey the Penguin. It’s funny because it doesn’t always make sense, and the characters have amusing titles.

Enjoy!

 

geeks need to know what to buy and when

by Steven Garrity

For those of you interested in technology news the options are many but most are seriously deficient. One hand, you have sites whose news consists mostly of cut and pasted press releases and those who kiss the feet of Microsoft. On the other hand, you have the whining anti-everything hacker-wannabe sites.

www.theregister.co.ukFor those in the middle, try The Register. This British tech news site seems to be written by actual human beings capable of sarcasm. One recent headline about the earthquake in Seattle read:

Gates: the earth moved for me
Billy Boy’s speech interrupted by God

 

the people have spoken. they said: shut up.

by Steven Garrity

Earlier this week I asked for some feedback on the phenomenon of using TV to relax and the moral repercussions (seeing as your TV watching time is being resold). The good levelheaded readers of aov have responded and each response is very much appreciated.

The consensus (how many people to do you need to have a consensus?) seems to be that, like most things, there is nothing inherently wrong with watching TV. It all depends on what you watch and why you watch it. While this is certainly the case, I still think Neil Postman is right when he points out that TV is incapable of serving as the medium of coherent public discourse. But I guess that’s not the point of TV, is it? Don’t think I’m a pretentious preaching critic. I’m not sure I have any constructive criticism. I’m just thinking out loud and interested in the thoughts of others.

The feedback I received was encouraging on a few fronts. Firstly, the half-hour of TV I was complaining about was quickly put to shame by the amount of TV most people watch. Also, several alternative methods of relaxing were also suggested, some more interesting than others (use your imagination).

Bottom line according to the readers seems to be: Don’t watch it if you don’t want to. I don’t think I can argue with that.

 

discover new music via Steve Jobs

by Steven Garrity

Steve Jobs used to play the part of the passionate visionary quite well. Watch the made-for-tv movie Pirates of Silicon Valley for an interesting and apparently accurate summary of the Steve Jobs / Bill Gates stories (beware of VERY bad dialog).

Now, watching Steve Jobs at the latest MacWorld Expo, he comes across like a
tired old salesman (I know, I know, that’s what he is). I’m not sure which is worse: Obviously believeing the hype you spin, or obviously not believing it.

That said, a new ad for the ugly new iMac (which will sell zillions, thanks to the Walmart Effect: tacky sells) features a fantastic song called Sunburn by the British band, Muse. I hadn’t heard them before, but I should have.

 

pimping and stealing.

by matthew

The Cadre (UPEI’s student (news)paper) will be producing a poetry issue this March. It will be featuring published and unpublished poets, professors, students and non-students, Islanders and people from elsewhere. And you.

I need content for this thing, and lots of it, which is where you come in. I need you to send me your poems – preferably two or three unpublished works. If you wish, you should also send any images or secondary material you like to accompany your work, as well as any ideas you have for layout, though this is not necessary.

Please note that all remuneration for your efforts will be of the karmic, rather than the monetary, sort. Also, this will be a way for you apathetic wanks to redeem yourselves for not submitting to the uber-titled thing.

 

Steven’s hypocritical anti-consumerism musing of the day.*

by Steven Garrity

TV is a drug. I realize that this is not a groundbreaking statement, but let me elaborate.

I have criticized my friends in the past for relying on television to help them relax at the end of the day. Some can’t even sleep until they’ve watched their half-hour of TV (it usually doesn’t matter what show in particular). I now find myself in the same sorry position. I have just gotten home from a long day at work. It’s late, and I should go to bed, but I won’t be relaxed enough to sleep until I’ve sat down for some TV.

My question is: Is there anything wrong with this?

I’m not sure myself. On one hand, it’s just like anything else people use to relax: reading, writing, tea, etc. It’s a way of giving your mind some down time. However, the key difference here is that I’m not living in a bubble. Someone (the TV networks) is selling my relaxation time to advertisers. A part of my daily routine that I sometimes rely on (as do many North Americans) to fall asleep at night is being sold to the highest bidder.

I can’t make a clear argument for why, or if, this is wrong. Maybe it’s not. I’d like to your what you think. Email me at steven@actsofvolition.com.

Anyhow, I’m off to bed. Right after I watch an episode of Newsradio (reruns on A&E!).

* The title Steven’s hypocritical anti-consumerism musing of the day is not indented to imply consistent daily musings in the future. It was simply a technique to mislead you into reading my post, which appears to have worked.
 

ten loaves of bread for my frickin’ bread basket.

by matthew

In an effort to broaden the cultural horizons of you unwashed masses, witness this work in progress unwittingly donated to aov by the ringleader of that infamous all-star rock group, Windom Earle:

Sweatpants by ll coolbreeze

If you’re more interested in coolbreeze’s sister than his music, check out his website which currently features Maggie getting busy with Cuba’s aquatic life.