I can’t promise that your life will be any better if you don’t watch TV, but I think I can absolutely guarantee that it won’t be any worse than it is now. Its TV Turnoff Week kids.
An earlier debate here on aov (which happened mostly via email since it was pre-replies) was inconclusive about the shame of watching TV. Although it did indicate that TV Turnoff Week would be a lot harder for some than for others.
Final Fantasy, the classic video game series (one I never had the patience for myself) is coming to the big screen. Completely computer animated, it makes Toy Story look like a flip-book animation, and Dinosaur like, uh, never mind.
These “photos” of the characters are some of the most amazing computer generated images I have ever seen. If you have QuickTime and some time to waste, watch the trailer to see them in action.
I will be at the theatre, vaguely embarrassed, on opening night.
We aren’t far from losing a clear distinction between real actors and virtual actors. While I can’t see anything inherently wrong with that, this ‘photo’ of the lead character from Final Fantasy gives me the willies.
If you are interested in the future of the web and computing in general, read The Semantic Web in the May issue of Scientific American. Co-authored by Tim Berners-Lee, inventor of the web, the article explores the possibilities of having a machine-readable web, rather than a web intended only for human readers. The automation possibilities are fascinating.
The article also touches on some interesting characteristics of the current web. In particular that while the decentralization of the control on the web brought us the dreaded 404 error, it also allowed for the exponential growth. Berners-Lee is an academic and an idealist (I think you have to be an idealist to use a NeXT computer). He intended [em] tags to encode meaning, emphasis, not [i] tags to slant text. The Semantic Web looks to correct that very problem.
No matter how many times I upgrade a piece of software only to find that the latest version is no better, or is worse than the previous versions, I still feel the need to upgrade. Even if I’m perfectly happy with a piece of software I’ve been using successfully for a long time, as soon as a newer version comes out, I lose it. I can’t help but imagine all the bugs I’m living with now (whether I run into them or not) that have been fixed in a newer version.
The problem started at an early age. My parents had to upgrade my Packard Bell from 2MB to 6MB of RAM after I spent all of my savings ($99) on Central Point Software’s PC Tools only to find out it wouldn’t run on 2MB of ram. RAM cost $100/MB those days (I have a similar sob story about spending all my cash on a telescope that turned out to suck in grade four, but it doesn’t have anything to do with upgrade anxiety, so I’ll save it for a rainier day).
The problem began to affect my relationships and work as it worsened in the years that followed. It started with a two page spread screen shot of what was then called Chicago (eventually renamed Windows 95 for release) in Windows Magazine. I ogled those pages. I yearned for universal drag-n-drop, the task bar, to run my cursor over those chiselled 3D bevels. I paid $49.95 US for a copy of the Windows 95 beta preview version. It came on 35 3.5″ disks (seriously, I didn’t have a CDROM drive). My system and it’s now paltry 6MB of RAM absolutely crawled under its weight, but it didn’t matter. I had the latest.
Microsoft knows my kind. They pander to my addiction. Their Windows Update feature of my Windows 2000 Professional pops up a little icon in the corner of my screen every time an update of some kind becomes available. Even now, running Windows 2000 (and quite pleased with it), I am tortured by a co-worker who has secured a copy of Windows XP (the unfortunately monikered follow-up to Win2k).
I am a compulsive upgrader. Cost, quality, and reason are irrelevant to me when it comes to upgrades. This very article is stored in SQL Server 7 database when SQL Server 2000 has been out for months. I know very little about databases, and even less about the discrepancies between SQL versions, yet it kills me to run anything less than the absolute latest release (or even better, a beta of the next version).
I know I’m not alone. There must be other compulsive upgraders out there. Maybe it’s not software. Maybe it’s hardware, CDs, clothes. Share with me people.
I was pleasently amazed when I saw this for the first time. It has the cuteness of normal stick figure death theatre, which has improved greatly since they graduated from animated Gifs to Flash, but the hardcore action and soothing soundtrack of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.
They even added a nifty VCR control on the top so you can watch the action frame by frame, or rewind to watch your favorite spot again. Enjoy!
It says during the intro to this that it’s #3, should you know where the first 2 are, please pass on the goods.
It has recently come to our attention that there are other people in the world, some with opinions. After much thought and a little debate about community on the web (and more specifically, on actsofvolition.com), you can now reply to our posts on aov.
See the reply link under the title of each post.
Those crazy Austrians. Story taken from Excite.
No More Exploding Cows in the Alps
VIENNA (Reuters) – The Austrian province of Vorarlberg will ban the practice of blowing up dead cows with explosives on its picture-postcard Alpine meadows, state television ORF said on Thursday.
The small, mountainous province nestling between Liechtenstein, Switzerland and Germany lives off tourism, and authorities were worried tourists might be put off by exploding cadavers and possible contamination of ground water.
About 20 head of cattle die on Vorarlberg’s Alpine pastures each year — either struck by lightning or falling down precipices. Because of the rugged terrain, helicopters usually have to be called in to remove the remains.
Given that hiring a helicopter costs about 15,000 schillings ($956) a trip, some farmers have opted to blow up their dead animals at a cost of 500 schillings ($32) with the help of demolition experts, who place explosives inside the cadavers.
The state of Vorarlberg takes on up to 80 percent of the transport costs, but locals are calling for 100 percent cover to stamp out the grisly practice, ORF said.
“I will put a stop to these blasts. I never even knew they were taking place,” said Erich Schwaerzler, a member of local parliament in charge of environmental and agricultural issues.
Jeez. Everybody’s feeling fantastic. Despite outrageous, heinous, otherwise ordinary reports of bad weather, we all know that summer is coming.
But the humans have yet to adapt. But they’re getting there. I was driving around for the good part of today with a good pal, enjoying the spring-esque weather, and watching people. The first, most obvious thing I saw was people walking up half the road, when the sidewalks no longer have snow on them. When the humans come to this realization, they will get off the road, but, it’s transition time.
Another thing I noticed was an alarming number of people wearing their massive Canadian-Winter grade snowsuits. Still more adjusting to do.
These facts may not be particularly fascinating, but I found them interesting. Good day!
Recently, I have had many people ask me: “What is it like, being a Milton Acorn Award winning poet?” Who can blame them for wishing for a little insight into the life of so large a figure? In the interest of bridging the gap between award winning poet (me) and common folk (you), I present the following:
A day in the life of me, award winning poet.*
April 18th
10:30am – Wake to sound of phone ringing. Landlord informs me rent check has bounced. Not my fault. Mumble something to that effect and promise to pay in cash today.
11:30am – Wake to sound of phone ringing. Ignore phone.
12:30pm – Wake to sound of phone ringing. It is B_____. Something about lunch and taking the paper (UPEI’s The Cadre) to the printer.
12:45-1:45pm – Eat lunch (Mr. Noodles brand soup, “Chicken” flavour). Watch episode five of third season of X Files.
Plot Summary: Even execution can’t stop the killing days of Napoleon “Neech” Manley (Badja Djola). Before going to the electric chair, he vows revenge on the inmates and guards who made his prison days a living hell. Later, the men on his list of enemies begin dying gruesome deaths.
2:00pm – Withdraw cash from bank. Pay rent plus twenty dollar fee for bounced rent check.
2:20pm – Arrive at B_____’s house.
2:30-3:15pm – Assorted goings-on involving taking of The Cadre to The Guardian, drinking of coffee and perusal of books in local independent bookstore.
3:20pm – Speculation on what Milton Acorn Poetry Award consists of. Possibilities: Half bag of pretzels, three dollars, nothing.
3:30pm – Arrive home. Attempt to read part of Carlyle’s “Sartor Resartus” (The Tailor Retailored) in ill-conceived attempt to study for Victorian Prose and Poetry exam.
4:00-6:30pm – Sleep on couch. Awake at 6:30 slightly panicked as exam is in thirty minutes.
6:45pm – Purchase ham and swiss sandwich, black coffee and blueberry fritter from Tim Hortons.
7:05-10:00pm – Arrive nearly on time for exam having eaten only half of ham and swiss. Spend next three hours writing exam and staring at class members.
10:00-10:15pm – Small and insignificant conversations with people concerning number of exams remaining, papers to write, etc. Call B_____ and inform him of intention of going to Baba’s for beer in near future.
10:30-11:00pm – Arrive home. Watch Toronto Maple Leafs finish their sweep of hapless Ottawa Senators.
11:10pm – Arrive at Baba’s. Tonight is “Open Dave with Mic” night. Apparently. Call B_____ to confirm lack of cover.
11:30pm-2:30am – Converse with C_____, B_____, M_____, D_____ and N_____. Also with female wearing “Kitten” t-shirt. “Kitten” speaks repeatedly of appreciation for being grabbed by hair and bent over a table. “Kitten” becomes centre of conversation for large portion of evening.
12:00am(ish) – Attempt by myself and B_____ to acquire _____. D_____ speaks to C_____, also makes phone call. Attempt fails. B_____ leaves soon after.
1:00am(ish) – Beer fight. Am not participating, but still lose.
2:30am – Almost witness fight between D_____ and some guy over ownership of red lighter. Guy is asked to leave, smashes light during exit. Guy is banned.
2:45am – Walk home. Disappointed that J.R. Capone’s is closed.
3:00am – Sleep.
And thus went the day. I hope this exercise has given you the all the insight into the intricacies of the life of me that you wished for. Feel free to send any further inquiries in this direction.
* All times are approximate as I do not own a watch.
There is a scene in The Great Outdoors where John Candy is waterskiing. Desperate to stop, he screams at the driver of the boat (Dan Aykroyd). “You bastard, You bastard!” Aykroyd thinks he’s saying “Go Faster, Go Faster!” and fun and folly ensue.
I had an eerily similar and equally frightening experience last night. Friends were helping me tow my sick Toyota to the mechanic. Needless to say, there were miscommunications.
If you claim to have seen a yellow ’78 Volvo wagon towing a sick Toyota by 10 feet of rope* at 70Km/h down North River Road, then I have no idea what you are talking about.