A few years ago my sister helped me with a paper I was having difficulty starting. I thought her words might be useful for all those sad and panicked English majors out there:

Trampolines are quite a bit like Canadian literature
in the sense that both can be used, or abused.
One must not jump too high on a trampoline,
Canadian lit., being of a more fragile nature,
should not be jumped on at all.
One is not encouraged, yet still can,
crease a book of Canadian lit.,
yet a trampoline can not be creased.
Some trampolines do disassemble, however,
for convenient storage.

THE REST, OBVIOUSLY, WRITES ITSELF.