They’re coming!

Amazon is now taking preorders for Segway Human Transporters!!

Those things are real! And this March you’ll be seeing doctors, lawyers, and trendy internet punks screaming everywhere.

If you want one, it’ll set you back about five thousand American dollars. I’m not sure if that’s a good deal for a human technoscooter or not. Perhaps a stink should be raised on the topic of them being a monopoly.

Sadly, I feel I’m in the wrong environment for said scooter. If they can put skis on it for slushy swampy environments, I’d love one. Perfect for a tiny little town or campus.

But 5000$… I guess we’ll have to start up with X10 popups on AOV.

 

Abstract abstractions

The only thing that will make you better known than making sweeping declarations, is making sweeping declarations and naming them after yourself (see Garrity’s Inverse Law of Congregational Intelligence). Joel Spolsky writes about The Law of Leaky Abstractions. He should shirk humility and call it Joel’s Law of Leaky Abstractions.

Unfairly simplified, Joel’s point is that you have to understand abstractions to use them effectively. You have to know how the tool does what it does to deal with problems and not to be bound by the abstraction. I enjoyed reading Joel’s thoughts – and they are good points. Ignorance of the meaning of abstractions is often the cause of one my least favourite business problems: “the computer won’t let me do that” (I’m getting mad just thinking about hearing that).

Joel correctly points out the weakness of abstractions. It can be helpful to know that when your turn the steering wheel in your car, you are not just pointing the car in another direction. Rather, you are turning the front wheels (unless you have that crazy-ass four-wheel steering) and the motion of the car and the friction of the wheels against the road is what makes the car turn. It’s good to know this when you are turning ice, for example.

This is exactly what WYSIWYG HTML editors don’t work very well.

What Joel doesn’t talk about, perhaps because it goes without saying, is how incredibly powerful abstractions can be. I often find myself saying things that go without saying.

I’ve always been fascinated by abstractions. It seems to be that abstractions could be our most powerful tool as a species. When I have to know how everything works, I am bound by the practical limits of what one person can come to know and understand in a lifetime. Print and transportation have made it easier for one person to learn more, but you can only read so many books. So in order for us to do amazing things like build bridges that go farther than you can see, or go to the moon (if you buy that story), we need to abstract. We need to rely on the knowledge and capacity of others. We use each other as tools.

In a previous post about abstractions in science, I wrote*:

When I call on a simple PHP function to show the date on a website, I don’t need to understand how PHP is interpreted. I don’t need to understand the network protocols used to transmit the process page to your computer. Basically, I don’t need to understand how computers work because someone else has done it for me.

I’m not sure what the move to abstractions means for us in the long run. It is certainly enabling us to do things on a grander scale. However, it also removes us from the source of our activities. Take food, for example. We seldom see where our food comes from or where it ends up. I could never gut a chicken, but I sure do like the mandarin chicken salad at Wendy’s (does a chicken even have a ‘gut’?).

Perhaps Joel is right; In order to use abstractions effectively, we need to truly understand them. Understanding an abstraction doesn’t mean you can’t take advantage of it. You don’t need to think about it all the time (that’s the point). Rather, you just need to be able to understand the abstraction when it breaks down (or ‘leaks’, to use Joel’s term). When your Subaru is sliding towards a ditch, for example, it helps to know why you steer into a skid.


* What does it mean when you start citing yourself as a reference? I’m pretty sure it means something.
 

aov remembers

PoppyThis Veterans’ Week Canada remembers its veterans of the Korean war, the First World War, and the Second World War. Also see the CBC’s coverage.

If you catch this post by 11AM Atlantic time (10AM Eastern), you can watch the ceremonies in Charlottetown on the webcam.

 

Real robots

I’ve been informally documenting the robot take-over of the world on this site for the last few years, and it took a big step forward this week. A U.S. pilotless drone fired a missile, killing six people in Yemen. I don’t want to make a joke of this – people were killed – but holy crap, a pilotless drone!?

Isaac Asimov’s laws of robotics are actually becoming pertinent. Everyone should rent Toys this weekend.

 

Anatomy of a Frivolous Petition

About five months ago, I called on fans of the Northern Exposure TV series to sign a petition for the release of the complete series on DVD. Since then, over 1000 people have signed on. People did more than just sign their names. Many have enthusiastically shared what it was they loved about the show.

The petition seems to have peaked in September (with links from some fine NX sites). I’m sure people would keep signing up, but I think we have enough to make a point (as small a point as it may be). The chart below illustrates the number of signatures per day over the course of the petition (see full-size version).

Do you think Edward Tufte watched Northern Exposure? I bet he did.

The petition is now closed. If you didn’t get a chance to sign up, or if you did and want to do more, there is another NX DVD petition to which you can add your name. I’ll be sending the petition to the appropriate parties (if I can find out who that would be) and I will post any pertinent responses.

To all who linked to and signed the petition, thank you. To those other readers who couldn’t care less about Northern Exposure, thanks for bearing with us (and occasionally deriding us); this should be the last you hear of it for a while.

 

Healthy Halloween

This coming Halloween will be my first living in a trick-or-treat accessible building. I’m new in the neighbourhood and I want to impress the local kids (do kids still get impressed these days?).

When I was growing up, there was a house in our neighbourhood that gave out cans of pop and full-size chocolate bars. At the time I thought they must have been eccentric millionaires to display such reckless generosity. I would like children to think that I am a reckless and eccentric millionaire.

As a former Adbusters subscriber, I’m always wary of the commercialization of holidays. I’m not going to go into a rant about the “true meaning of Halloween” (though I can imagine such a rant being quite entertaining). Trick-or-treating is a cool idea. I love that I live in a part of the world where it is considered safe enough to send children door-to-door asking for candy from strangers. I want to do my part.

The trouble I’m having is that I don’t really want to encourage the nutritionally and environmentally unhealthy practice of gorging on individually packaged sugar products. At the same time, I don’t want to be a huge party pooper (perhaps I’m too late for that). I don’t want to be the hippie looser that gives kids apples and granola. Any ideas?

I would appreciate constructive suggestions on what I should give out to kids on Halloween? Unhelpful but amusing suggestions will also be entertained. Keep in mind:

  • I’m quite busy and lazy (these are not mutually exclusive conditions).
  • I only have 4 days.

Friends and family should consider this a warning: you’re all getting songs and hugs for Christmas.

 

Hiding in the FedEx logo

I’m sure that most of those of you that will care will already have noticed this, but for the few, like me, who hadn’t: the FedEx logo contains an arrow in the negative space created by the E and the x. Beautiful.

Hey - there's an egg hidden in the 'D' too!

I guess that’s why I’ve always thought that FedEx was a progressive and forward-thinking company and didn’t know why.

 

1000 Northern Exposure fans can’t be wrong

After an interesting four months, I’m going to close off the Northern Exposure DVD petition at 1000 signatures. This should only take another day or two – so sign up now. After I close the petition, I’ll post an overview of what happened and what will become of it.

 

Brandstorming

Mammoth consulting firm KPMG has changed their name to BearingPoint. They are trying to dodge the accounting scandal stigma by separating their consulting from their auditing components.

Enjoy a few highlights from a corporate video on the re-branding:

“We make things happen. We don’t bring problems, we bring results.”
“We integrate and collaborate.”
“We deliver on our promises with an attitude of ‘whatever it takes’.”
“We have a presence – an intensity.”
“We know how to think on our feet and we know how to make it happen – now.”
“We don’t walk – we run.”

You just can’t make stuff like that up (well, eNormicom can).

This is obviously reminiscent of Andersen Consulting’s name change to Accenture (“Innovation Delivered”). Apparently Andersen was forced to change their name due to a court ruling. They too have embarrassing corporate videos on their site highlighting their “Brandstorming Initiative” (again, you just can’t make this stuff up).

Maybe Acts of Volition should rebrand and reposition our stragetic role the blogspace. Any ideas? Let’s brandstorm!

 

The bias of the machine

Search Google for “MSSQL” and it will ask you:

“Did you mean: MYSQL

See a screenshot.