Author: Steven Garrity

if only my boss was this cool

by Steven Garrity

The following is from NullSoft’s Developer website (maker of the wonderful WinAmp). These guys rule (rather, they “kick the llama’s ass”). Amidst dot-com turmoil, they got rich on a handy little utility that works as it should. AOL-TimeWarner (warning: this is one of those incredibly annoying sites that doesn’t let you use the back button in your browser) owns them and probably doesn’t even know it.

Enjoy their amusing call for new employees:

Yes, it’s true. Nullsoft is hiring. We need someone to bolster our developer relations team. What does this mean? Well, aside from plowing our fields and trimming our nose hairs, our new recruit would get to write official Nullsoft plug-ins both for us and for tutorials for the poor starving plug-in developing masses. You would get the power to make direct changes to the Winamp API’s and serve as another liaison to our coding brethren. Check out the following prerequisites.

TEN MAGIC THINGIES:

  1. Thou shalt have experience with Winamp plug-in and/or Win32 development.
  2. Thou shalt be willingest to movest toest the Sanest Franciscoest Areast.
  3. You kan talk en rait gud, nat laik us. (Excellent expository and documentative writing skill.)
  4. Must be able to instantly learn any game after a quick 50 hour warmup.
  5. Must be able to speak, read, and write in 1337, but saves it for special occasions, like Canada Day.
  6. Easy bake oven experience a BIG PLUS! No, seriously.
  7. Must suffer from permanent “case of the mondays”.
  8. Must have some sort of “Instant Messaging” experience.
  9. Can identify this “quote”: “I’m sorry, I do not know nuthin about the money launderin'”.
  10. Skinning experience a very hot, large, sexy, sweaty, “plus”.
  11. Must not EVER use “finger quotes”.

If you think you’d make a good fit, send your resume to nsdn@winamp.com.

-Denny, wants to go to Chotchkie’s

Thanks to mastah programma Isaac for the link.

 

is the Microsoft Office monopoly more dangerous than Microsoft Windows monopoly?

by Steven Garrity

Jakob Neilsen, usability nut, offers this interesting proposition:

“…the real platform these days is Office and that Microsoft’s monopoly at this new level is of more concern than what they do with Windows…”

To a degree, this is true. Most common business documents use the Microsoft Office formats (primarily Word, Excel, and Powerpoint). Regardless of whether you are using a Mac or a Windows PC (I realize that there are significant operating systems left out here), you can email Office documents to other (Microsoft sanctioned) platforms to your hearts content.

 

Jeeves, how do I bluntside the awning?

by Steven Garrity

Damn You Tony Hawk!
The chain of events took place as follows:

  1. A co-worker gets a computer game, Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 (warning, this links to a totally x-treme website – mountain dew big-slams recommended), for Christmas.
  2. He leaves it at the office.
  3. My life deteriorates into a blur of late nights full of kick-flips, 720’s, and ollie transfers.

A real low point in my addiction to the ridiculous game came when a few of my friends were sitting around complaining about our injuries from the playing the game (sore wrists, etc.). As soon as we realized what we were doing, the conversation came to an abrupt end.

This post was not meant to be about my pathetic addiction to a computer game, which appears to have been inevitable, but rather about a triumph of the Internet search technology.

One of the goals in the foolish game is to “Bluntside the Awning”. This meant as much to me as it does to you (nothing) and it was an important goal that I needed to complete in the game (I know, I know). Frustrated, confused, and all the while ashamed of myself, I went to AskJeeves.com and posed the simple but arcane query, “How do I bluntside the awning?”

The first result was my answer. Well done, Internet.

 

a tale of cats, philosophers, and SUVs

by Steven Garrity

aov’s favourite philosophy professor, Tony Couture, to whom we owe a lot of our genius, has had quite a misadventure.

As featured in The Guardian newspaper, Tony’s unreasonably large Sport Utility Vehicle went off the road near Shediac. While Tony seems to have escaped unscathed, the windows smashed and his cat, Casi, went missing. After 18 days lost in the woods a few good Samaritans tracked down the cat and he was delivered home safely.

Tony, we’re glad to hear you are ok and that Casi made it home safely.

After my earlier post about how the news is never pertinent to me, this is refreshing.