Charge a service fee for using a service? What?! Have someone making money from the Internet without absurdly inflated stock sales? No way! I want everything for free!

If Napster charges a service fee who knows what could be next? We’ll have to pay “grocery stores” to buy our food from them instead of direct from the farmers. “Bookstores” will appear, and we’ll no longer buy directly from authors. Why, the government may even institute a goods and services tax! Soon, we’ll have an entire “service industry”!

What will happen? How can we possibly afford to pay for the things we want? Our society will crumble into anarchy, and mobs will rule the streets! To the hills, I say, to the hills. You can live off the land, commune with nature, learn to love your fellow man, and never, ever have to pay a service fee.

Here is a sample of the thoughts of a typical person entering a casino:

“Even though I know that the vast majority of people who go to casinos obviously lose money, otherwise they would close, I am smarter than everyone else and will somehow manage to gain financially.”

I, on the other hand, actually am smarter than everybody else. On my last trip to Halifax, I went in with $10 and came out with $16.50. Hello free Combo #4 at Wendy’s! What’s that? Biggie size it? Why not! It’s free!

Bottom line is: Casinos are sad.

CEO Hank Barry said Tuesday that the 38 million Napster users will soon have to pay “monthly dues” of, perhaps, $4.95 to access each other’s hard drives; it is the result of a deal Napster reached with one of five record companies suing it for copyright infringement.

Now they want to charge us to access eachothers hard drives? Thank you for the offer, records execs.

Speaking of execs, check out the encouraging photos of the geniuses planning the future of telecommunications in Atlantic Canada. Ask your kids about the “Internet” boys.

more radiohead blips. bigger radiohead blips.

Green Party presidential candidate Ralph Nader is apparently unsatisfied with simply being the most intelligent candidate running. Reports suggest that Nader has sold his soul to the devil* in exchange for the power to control the very minds of men. Be afraid, be very afraid.

* Some observers contend that said soul was in fact sold to Coca-Cola in exchange for the magical powers.

2004 is going to be an exciting year. Why, you ask? In 2004 Hurricane Matthew will be wreaking havoc on the world. Apparently, hurricane names are decided several years in advance, and 2004 is the year Matthew takes out the trash! Sadly, hurricane steve/rob will not be appearing until at least 2005.

we missed you.

I really wish that I had something explosively brilliant to say right now, but the fact is that all I really have found is a tasty old laptop with 56k modem and some kind folks to hook me up with the bare essential software (and dialup connection). ICQ is funny, I don’t think it’s going /quite/ right yet, and i think my Visor ate my email and it’s sitting at work, i didn’t get it here.

BUT I am thankful for that, (thanks!) and i’ll let the world know when i see something worth posting.

Good day.

For more Radiohead stuff, check out www.spin.com. You can read the excellent article on Radiohead which appeared in this month’s issue of Spin, read correspondence between Thom and the interviewer which didn’t make the article, and check out a blip exclusive to Spin. I’m sure there is other stuff too.

I have now whored myself out to mainstream media. You see what you people make me do?