Oh, Alanis Morisette, you are so very wise! You’re high but you’re grounded, you’re sad but your laughing. Oh, you are so wise (but at the same time green)! You’re this, but then you aren’t! What a paradox you are Alanis! What a contradiction you are. You are the thesis and the antithesis. You are a fucking conundrum.

Ok, I’m done. I feel much better now. Sorry.

Jezebel’s Mirror is a collection of photographs people have taken of themselves projected on various reflective surfi.

This site made me wonder why I don’t have a digital camera. Not sure. I’ll get back to you on that one.

Spend a few minutes perusing. It’s surprisingly interesting. Also, you can submit a photo of your own.

Too lazy to write an actual post on this myself, I will quote relevant pieces of a story which appeared in Suck:

Through a process that was both years too long and miles too stupid, the ICANN board approved – drum roll, please – .biz, .name, .pro, .museum, .info, .aero and .coop. Yes, the thundering demand for a .museum domain has finally been met.

The only possible explanation for making such mediocre additions to a badly over-taxed system – while the well-regarded .web and .xxx domains were ignored – is that ICANN, often regarded as the sycophantic toady of trademark holders, had no intention of diluting the worth of the One True TLD, .com.

There is no technical reason why .web, .xxx, .sucks, .nom or .rectalleakage couldn’t be added tomorrow, save the fact that Disney would then have to hire someone to go register disney.rectalleakage, to keep it out of the hands of pranksters.

Oh, we could never just let anything be a top-level domain. No, because then we would have to decide who had the authority to invent and sell new ones. Well, they couldn’t just be free, could they? This is the Internet after all.

What follows is from the cover of an actual magazine that is produced, I think, by the Government of New Brunswick.

“Exports are running hot
Ecommerce is way cool”

It concerns me that someone could actually write that. I can only hope that it was either a joke or an accident, but I fear it was neither. But maybe I shouldn’t be so negative. Maybe I should try to “¢ash in on e¢ommerce”.

From CBC News:

Man Steals Ballot Box
PICTOU, N.S. – The RCMP in Pictou are investigating a stolen ballot box after a man walked into the Pictou Landing Fire Hall Monday afternoon and took the ballot box.

The man apparently left a letter outlining a grievance over compensation he felt he was owed.

Elections Canada says the ballot box, containing 126 ballots, was thrown into Pictou Harbour…

While the ballot box was eventually recovered, the issues that this election were apparently to be based on remain missing. It’s unfortunate that more people living in close proximity to water, myself included, did not take the opportunity to throw a ballot box ot two into the drink. It would have been much more satisfying than voting.

From TheRegister.co.uk:

1. Talk to people for chrissakes. Don’t live your life through the sodding TV. Go and meet up with mates or stay at home and talk with your family – and talk about something other than the TV. How about hopes/aspirations/feelings?
    
2. Buying things will NOT make you happy. Honestly. Spend the money on activities or things you’ve always wanted to do. That is what money is for, don’t you remember?
    
3. A job is something you do to give you a focus and purpose in life. It also provides money which pays for your home and food and supports your family. The rest can then be used to make your life outside work more enjoyable (see point 2).
    
4. Stop bloody whingeing all the time. No one likes moaners. And we just don’t care if you’re stressed or not – we’re not you. So what’s the point? Just get on and do it. And stop trying to find other things that you can blame for the fact that you’re a whingeing, boring, overworked bastard.

Read the rest of the article »

In the event that you become a billionaire it is important to be prepared. Being disgustingly rich isn’t all fun and games. There are responsabilities. You will need an original set of billionaire eccentricities. Mine are as follows:

• I will wear a new pair of socks every day. Maybe I can work out some kind of deal where I give yesterdays socks away for charity auction like Michael Jordan does with his shoes.
• I will start a large-scale media campaign (including magazine ads, billboards, radio ads, and TV ads) to destigmatize masturbation. It’ll be like NBC’s The More You Know featuring big name stars. If you ever see a MASTURBATION IS OK
  bumper sticker, you can rest assure that I have found wealth.

Email me (steven@actsofvolition.com) and let me know what your billionare eccentricities.

Despite having an inflated self-image, aov’s own Matthew Dorrell has neglected to gloat about having a poem published UPEI’s student creative writing journal, Annex 2000.

Matt’s poem, Selling Vacuums is funny and upsetting. However, like all geniuses he is falsely humble and unhappy with the bounty of his quill (that’s what old pens that smart people used are called). He claims that the published piece is “in many little pieces and I have not as yet discovered how to re-assemble them properly”.

The world won’t wait. Ladies and Genderless, an aov exclusive (sort of), the newly revised version of Matthew Dorrell’s Selling Vacuums, previously published in UPEI’s Annex 2000:

In large letters:

P – E – N – E

and where the final S was to be, an aov member rolling in the freshly fallen snow, laughing histerically at his poor spelling.