Our logs are a constant source of amusement. Here are a few words that led people to aov through the search engines:
I can’t explain the “Odd Penis” but I think the “Athlete advertisements” may have something to do with matt’s affinity with Joanne Malar.
The search engines are always humorously misleading people to our site. View some previous keywords.
me: “I cleaned out my wallet.”
you: “Oh?”
me: “It was in my pants, in the wash.”
you: “I see.”
Ad seen on Excite:
For a general explanation of this post’s title, go here.
For a specific explanation of this post’s title, go here. Caution: This will require reading.
If you are entirely uninterested in the title and the entire post, go here.
Thank you.
The following is from NullSoft’s Developer website (maker of the wonderful WinAmp). These guys rule (rather, they “kick the llama’s ass”). Amidst dot-com turmoil, they got rich on a handy little utility that works as it should. AOL-TimeWarner (warning: this is one of those incredibly annoying sites that doesn’t let you use the back button in your browser) owns them and probably doesn’t even know it.
Enjoy their amusing call for new employees:
Yes, it’s true. Nullsoft is hiring. We need someone to bolster our developer relations team. What does this mean? Well, aside from plowing our fields and trimming our nose hairs, our new recruit would get to write official Nullsoft plug-ins both for us and for tutorials for the poor starving plug-in developing masses. You would get the power to make direct changes to the Winamp API’s and serve as another liaison to our coding brethren. Check out the following prerequisites.
TEN MAGIC THINGIES:
- Thou shalt have experience with Winamp plug-in and/or Win32 development.
- Thou shalt be willingest to movest toest the Sanest Franciscoest Areast.
- You kan talk en rait gud, nat laik us. (Excellent expository and documentative writing skill.)
- Must be able to instantly learn any game after a quick 50 hour warmup.
- Must be able to speak, read, and write in 1337, but saves it for special occasions, like Canada Day.
- Easy bake oven experience a BIG PLUS! No, seriously.
- Must suffer from permanent “case of the mondays”.
- Must have some sort of “Instant Messaging” experience.
- Can identify this “quote”: “I’m sorry, I do not know nuthin about the money launderin'”.
- Skinning experience a very hot, large, sexy, sweaty, “plus”.
- Must not EVER use “finger quotes”.
If you think you’d make a good fit, send your resume to nsdn@winamp.com.
-Denny, wants to go to Chotchkie’s
Thanks to mastah programma Isaac for the link.
Snatch is, of course, the new Guy Ritchie movie (insert pre-requisite mention of Madonna here). If you’ve seen Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels you know what to expect. Snatch is even more frenetic, fast-paced and violent than it’s predecessor, but doesn’t really cover any new territory.
See this movie anyway, if for nothing else than Brad Pitt who spends the majority of the movie covered in either soot, blood, bile or alcohol and speaks in a hilarious and indecipherable Irish dialect. Snatch is funny, it looks absolutely amazing, but there just isn’t anything beneath the surface.
Babe: Pig in the City, on the other hand, has a lot going on. While Snatch merely feigns social commentary, the second Babe contains almost nothing but. Class warfare, the loss of cultural identity and social decay are the primary topics. I’m not kidding here, the first Babe movie, is nothing like Pig in the City – which has to be the most disturbing movie to ever be labelled “General”. The movie includes a dog being hung and nearly drowned, a poodle prostitute and any number of other characters and scenes that are entirely inappropriate for a “children’s” movie. Hampered only by a weak ending which feels out of place, this movie both looks incredible and has a lot to say.
Read this bizarre review of Babe: Pig in the City by a group called the “ChildCare Action Project: Christian Analysis of American Culture.” Among the areas they rate are “Offense to God,” “Sex/Homosexuality,” and “Impunity/Hate.”
This site rates a lot of movies, and is usually both entertaining and frightening.
The oil slick in the Galapagos is covers over 300 square kilometres.
I was trying to think of a good comparison to illustrate how large that actually is, but nothing suitable came to mind.
Picture it: 300 square kilometres!
I do not receive enough adulation from the public. Is it so much to ask that, instead of fallacy ridden emails that obliquely threaten legal action*, you send me gifts? Of course not.
My only thought has been that perhaps I am too difficult to shop for. To that end I present you with a short list:
Mr. Suicide Bathtub or Sink Drain Plug – better than a rubber duckie.
Beck Stuff – I like red.
Actually, that’s it. That’s all I want. I just want a bathtub plug and a t-shirt (or a sweatshirt)! That’s it!
I mean, sure I’d like to own a car that I could kick snow off without simultaneously ripping holes in the frame. And, sure, when Stats Canada called, I was embarrassed (see Jennifer, I can spell) to admit that I hadn’t spent a thing on “paid companions” (who are grouped with gardeners and maids for some reason). But really, all I want is some Beck swag and a lousy bathtub plug with a dead guy hanging from the chain.
I’m doing my very best to be reasonable folks. It’s not easy.
* I regret that I cannot produce said email for your perusal. You would laugh and cry. You would – but you will not.
A few weeks ago, we solicited submissions of writing for an upcoming aov feature on memorable rock concert experiences. We have been working hard writing our own experiences (this statement is not true) and we would like some help.
While the standard has been set high by an astounding account of a Platinum Blonde concert in the Sherwood Sportplex in the mid 80’s, we welcome all kinds of submissions regardless of length, format, quality, relevance, etc.
Send your submission to thegeniuses@actsofvolition.com.
The arbitrary deadline for submissions is January 31.
Jakob Neilsen, usability nut, offers this interesting proposition:
“…the real platform these days is Office and that Microsoft’s monopoly at this new level is of more concern than what they do with Windows…”
To a degree, this is true. Most common business documents use the Microsoft Office formats (primarily Word, Excel, and Powerpoint). Regardless of whether you are using a Mac or a Windows PC (I realize that there are significant operating systems left out here), you can email Office documents to other (Microsoft sanctioned) platforms to your hearts content.