After almost a year of switching record companies and redoing tracks and all those other things that rockstars do to delay album releases, I have discovered (I’m not sure when this was released) that Spacehog are about to release thier third album, “The Hogyssey” in April.

You can sample thier tune “I Want to Live”.

Go Spacehog!

I remember another potentially interesting hospital story. It doubles as a drug story which are also popular or ‘hip’ among teens and twentysomethings. I hope it isn’t one of those ‘you had to be there’ tales.

For a week after my surgery I had to stay in ICU (intensive care unit) full of tubes of various shapes and sizes and textures. I also had those little cardiogram stickies all over my chest with wires leading into a heart monitor. This bothered me because I would set off an alarm if I shuffled higher in bed. But the most important part of my ICU experience was the morphine they fed me for my sore, stapled up belly.

One day the fine people at silverorange tried to come along and visit me. I don’t remember this (damn morphine) but I guess I was pretty out of it that day, and they weren’t allowed in. BUT they were nice enough to leave behind a delightfully stuffed ape-monkey thing wearing 3d glasses. It was placed on a shelf in my room and somebody explained to me how it was a present.

By now I was used to hallucinating at night (I’m not sure if it was the morphine or just sickness). I would have trouble sleeping because I had 8 people in my bed with me who stole my pillows and kept singing the chorus from Coolio’s “Fantastic Voyage”. That made perfect sense to me at the time.

Then, one night the gift monkey spoke to me. It scared me deeply. I don’t remember what he said but it was threatening and abusive. I eventually had to ask to have it hidden then taken home. I left ICU a few days later, and haven’t seen anything nonexistant since.

Living in the busy world for so long, then taking a vacation of sorts from the horribly stressful life known as ‘web programming’ one comes to appreciate the simpler things in life.

Not 5 minutes ago I arrived back in my room after occupational therapy (where I thoroughly enjoyed a round of beanbag tic-tac-toe) to find two Kraft Handi-Snacks (those cracker/red stick/PB or cheese things).

I felt like a five year old on Christmas morning. Handi-Snacks are amazing and deserve a better web site.

I’m afraid this is about as exciting as my hospital posts are going to get. Wait, maybe not, a dude with green hair just walked by my door.

So I was lying back in my en-f*cking-joyable HMCS Charlottetown room in heart of a big f*cking hospitial, when the doc shows up.

Doctor says, “You have one f*cked up intestine”.

I say, “Get it the f*ck out of me, mofo”.

I was on an operating table shaped like a cross – with my arms out (cause they was full of tubes and wires and sh*t). I outrock those wussy “I rock because I lost an infrequently used organ” sh*ts, because I didn’t get morphine until I woke up.

I now have a giant f*cking zipper-like wound, with not four, not five, but twenty-nine staples keeping my guts in. On top of that, two f*cking eight- centimetre giant stitches that keep the little sh*t staples together. They shoveled out three to four pounds of my misbehavin’ guts.

Unlike all you weak suckers out there, I have four feet less digestive tract. I have no large intestine. I rock harder.

Happy Valentine’s Day,
Robert

Note: Swearing has been carefully edited as Valentine’s Day is no time for swearing. There will be no exceptions, especially none for me.

I can’t immitate Matt’s style. I just can’t do it justice, so forgive the traces of lameness in that post. To understand, go read this.

The fine people who make our Swiss Army Knives seem to have a promotion on that if you play their little SwissCard Tetris game and get a really high score that holds until the end of the month… they give you a free SwissCard! Let’s all get free SwissCards, they give out 10 a month.

(the highest score is about 6000, the lowest is 3000, shouldn’t be too hard, right?)

Update: Either my flash/java/whatever it uses is messed up, or that game is rigged. It speeds up slowly, and becomes unplayable at around 300 points. Mr. 6000 points is cheating the Swiss somehow. No free knives today…

I really wish that I had something explosively brilliant to say right now, but the fact is that all I really have found is a tasty old laptop with 56k modem and some kind folks to hook me up with the bare essential software (and dialup connection). ICQ is funny, I don’t think it’s going /quite/ right yet, and i think my Visor ate my email and it’s sitting at work, i didn’t get it here.

BUT I am thankful for that, (thanks!) and i’ll let the world know when i see something worth posting.

Good day.

… and it hurts me that I can’t type his name into Yahoo! and get all kinds of pictures of him saving the world in his own creative ways. There must be a cult following for him out there, but I can I shall not tell you what happens if you try to search for yourself. But I was not prepared. Steve pointed out that a good dotcom was taken.

I recently was shown a site which has an AMAZING ability. It’s not in english, but cows don’t speak english anyway. It’s not hard to stumble through. This jewel of a site amazed me for two reasons. First of all, it’s amazingly cool to watch the quality claymation cows rock/hiphop/disco around as you design a music video for them. But if you look at the interface, it’s very slick. Nice easy drag and drop onto the timeline (Premiere users don’t mock me, I think it may be called a timeline), and easy to preview the samples before throwing them on.

Thank you Salon for this.

It’s an article about how OPEC’s website was defaced with a message that would be shown for several seconds. Salon did a great job of choosing words, as the title of the story was Vandal defaces OPEC Web site. None of this ‘hacker’ nonsense which drives a small percentage of the population crazy.

My favorite part of the article was in this last paragraph:

The written statement disparaging the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries is different from a “hack” in that it is neither technologically difficult to perform nor particularly harmful to a Web site.

Well done!