I have taken Dristan© for the runny nose, acetaminophen for the headache, non-descript no-name syrup for the cough, but it is not enough to stop my nose from running, fix my headache, put me to sleep, do the dishes, point out the way, clean my room, darn my socks, help me forget, sew the button back on my pants, pay the bills, write a screenplay, smarten me up, help me remember. The cough is mostly gone though.

I am sorry.