thoughts on search keywords.

First, a confession: I am a web stats junkie. I get some kind of power rush from knowing that people are visiting our website.

The stats I love so much include keywords from popular search engines that have led people to aov. Some make sense, others do not. Some are interesting, others disturbing.
I have posted keywords on aov before. However, here is a a more in-depth sampling of such keywords with my thoughts on each:

  • “Mike Lecky”
    I guess search engines work. We did an interview with Mike.
  • “Acts of Volition”
    Again, search engines appear to work.
  • “music video women Hiphop rock”
    We have written each of these words independently. However, I don’t think they have ever been used in conjunction.
  • “futureshop sucks”
    Yes, I agree.
  • “holy shit”
    aov has never included either word (although we do like to use profanity here and there).
  • “matt slocum pictures, leigh nash cute, leigh nash MP3 download”
    Matt and Leigh are from Sixpence None the Richer. Read why they don’t suck.
  • “napster judgement 2001”
    Napster. It will erase your mind.
  • “cute kitten photos”
    This is matt’s fault.
  • “something about the moffats”
    Yes, there is something about those boys, isn?t there?
  • “Porland”
    It’s sad when search stats point out spelling errors (on a semi-related note, Portland with a ‘t’ is a cool place).
  • “what is volition?”
    Don’t ask us. Look it up.
  • “I want hug card”
    Don’t we all? Here you go.
  • “matthew dorrell”
    He claims not to search the web for himself. I’m sceptical. Prove me wrong. Show yourself!
  • “microsoft office monopoly”
    I was never good at monopoly. Microsoft Office is a monopoly. It’s also smarter than I am.
  • “I do not know nuthin about the money launderin”
    I’m afraid I do know about money launderin’.
  • “lemony snicket”
    Like matt said, “Lemony Snicket – suddenly and inexplicably everywhere”.
  • “Sex story grandmother”
    A classic case of looking for love in all the wrong places. However, matt did once use these three words in relatively close proximity.
  • “morphine preperation”
    I have never had morphine. Apparently I am the only one in this situation here at aov. See the following posts for more info:


  • “the most disturbing movie”
    You asked for it. It’s Babe: Pig in the City.
  • “who killed biggie smalls?”
    Record companies have whole departments dedicated to faking celebrity deaths. I though I had already explained this.
  • “Bluntside the Awning”
    How do you bluntside the awning?
    Simple: press Down + Down + Grind (8 on the Keypad). Confused? You should be.
    Let me explain.
  • “The truth about advertising”
    Searching the web for truth can be very frustrating. However, there is a video called Truth in Advertising that is quite amusing.