I was shown this this link by a fine young man (older than myself), and I have interpreted it as a sign of the coming apocalypse. Steve was also able to spot #47.

In Thailand, the first Oxygen bar opened. Where humans, frustrated from lack of or poor oxygen, can kick back with a cool drink, 20 minutes of scented oxygen, and relaxing muzak. All that will put you back 3.95.

I’m reminded of that commercial with bum drinking oxygen from a tree-in-a-jar that ran a few years ago. And at Spaceballs where that guy cracks open a can of air for a sniff at his desk. It sure was funny at the time, wasn’t it?

A few years ago my sister helped me with a paper I was having difficulty starting. I thought her words might be useful for all those sad and panicked English majors out there:

Trampolines are quite a bit like Canadian literature
in the sense that both can be used, or abused.
One must not jump too high on a trampoline,
Canadian lit., being of a more fragile nature,
should not be jumped on at all.
One is not encouraged, yet still can,
crease a book of Canadian lit.,
yet a trampoline can not be creased.
Some trampolines do disassemble, however,
for convenient storage.

THE REST, OBVIOUSLY, WRITES ITSELF.

This odd blurb greeted me on the home page of Amazon.com today. See it in context »

I can’t promise that your life will be any better if you don’t watch TV, but I think I can absolutely guarantee that it won’t be any worse than it is now. Its TV Turnoff Week kids.

An earlier debate here on aov (which happened mostly via email since it was pre-replies) was inconclusive about the shame of watching TV. Although it did indicate that TV Turnoff Week would be a lot harder for some than for others.

No matter how many times I upgrade a piece of software only to find that the latest version is no better, or is worse than the previous versions, I still feel the need to upgrade. Even if I’m perfectly happy with a piece of software I’ve been using successfully for a long time, as soon as a newer version comes out, I lose it. I can’t help but imagine all the bugs I’m living with now (whether I run into them or not) that have been fixed in a newer version.

The problem started at an early age. My parents had to upgrade my Packard Bell from 2MB to 6MB of RAM after I spent all of my savings ($99) on Central Point Software’s PC Tools only to find out it wouldn’t run on 2MB of ram. RAM cost $100/MB those days (I have a similar sob story about spending all my cash on a telescope that turned out to suck in grade four, but it doesn’t have anything to do with upgrade anxiety, so I’ll save it for a rainier day).

The problem began to affect my relationships and work as it worsened in the years that followed. It started with a two page spread screen shot of what was then called Chicago (eventually renamed Windows 95 for release) in Windows Magazine. I ogled those pages. I yearned for universal drag-n-drop, the task bar, to run my cursor over those chiselled 3D bevels. I paid $49.95 US for a copy of the Windows 95 beta preview version. It came on 35 3.5″ disks (seriously, I didn’t have a CDROM drive). My system and it’s now paltry 6MB of RAM absolutely crawled under its weight, but it didn’t matter. I had the latest.

Microsoft knows my kind. They pander to my addiction. Their Windows Update feature of my Windows 2000 Professional pops up a little icon in the corner of my screen every time an update of some kind becomes available. Even now, running Windows 2000 (and quite pleased with it), I am tortured by a co-worker who has secured a copy of Windows XP (the unfortunately monikered follow-up to Win2k).

I am a compulsive upgrader. Cost, quality, and reason are irrelevant to me when it comes to upgrades. This very article is stored in SQL Server 7 database when SQL Server 2000 has been out for months. I know very little about databases, and even less about the discrepancies between SQL versions, yet it kills me to run anything less than the absolute latest release (or even better, a beta of the next version).

I know I’m not alone. There must be other compulsive upgraders out there. Maybe it’s not software. Maybe it’s hardware, CDs, clothes. Share with me people.

I was pleasently amazed when I saw this for the first time. It has the cuteness of normal stick figure death theatre, which has improved greatly since they graduated from animated Gifs to Flash, but the hardcore action and soothing soundtrack of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

They even added a nifty VCR control on the top so you can watch the action frame by frame, or rewind to watch your favorite spot again. Enjoy!

It says during the intro to this that it’s #3, should you know where the first 2 are, please pass on the goods.