a lesson in propaganda from beautiful Portland, Maine

While spending a few days in Portland, Maine I had the unfortunate opportunity of watching some classic in-room american television. ESPN showed a military showcase and airshow that was the year 2000 equivalent to the now hilarious and frightening US and Soviet propaganda videos of the 50s. According to the hosts of the show it is a great opportunity for the military to mingle with the public and for the public to get a see “all the wonderful things that the U.S. Military is doing”. Don’t worry, young environmentalists, the smoke generated by the showplanes is ‘environmentally friendly’. I shudder.

On a more positive note, Portland is a beautiful city (despite the hideous buildings built in the last 40 years). I strongly recommend the Basket o’ Gritty Chips at “Maine’s original brew pub” Gritty McDuffs.

Oh, they still show Full House on TV here and the Olympics broadcasts are all a day old. God bless the CBC.

 

respect to our absent aov poobah

Let him know he is missed. If you are going to send him foolish bluemountain “e-cards” please use his spamorama email address: rob51@usa.net

Get well soon Rob.

 

olympic review – part 2.

A continuation of the reasoning behind my lack of sleep.

Joanne Malar
Waterborne Women Defeated
The women’s waterpolo team was elminated from medal contention, finishing a disappointing fifth, after losing to the impressive Australian team.
Joanne Malar (pictured at right) and Marianne Limpert failed to medal, finishing fifth and fourth respectively in the 200 IM. I note that Mrs. Malar has yet to send me an email, and while I would like to post my phone number, it may not be a brilliant idea, what with all the wierd stalkers out there in cyberspace.

The Tick Fights for Justice
While perhaps more accurately described as a children’s cartoon show, and not a part of the Olympics at all, The Tick is nonetheless a fine television show. Any show in which the main villian is named “chair-face” is cool with me.

Synchronized Diving is a Foolish Sport
See title.

Americans are (Allegedly) a Bunch of Cheating Bastards
Countries regularly do independant testing of their atheletes. If the atheletes test positive for a banned substance, they are to be reported to the IAAF (International Amateur Athletic Foundation). Apparently, the States have not been doing this. America=Satan.

 

nothing says “kick my ass” better than pantaloons.

I suppose I could write up a description of this how-to guide, but a description has already been written, and I am a busy, busy man after all, so here’s a quote:

I don’t mean to brag, but I’ve never really had a hard time getting beaten up. However, for the longest time, after someone kicked my ass, instead of going to jail, as I would have preferred, that person would just go wash-up. That is until I read this guide that I’ve written.

Clearly, this man is a genius. Depending on you level of tolerance for disgusting pictures of the human foot, you should also check out the aptly named stinky feet wherein the author attempts to infect himself with athelete’s foot. Possibly the funniest thing I have ever read in the Internet. Again, not for the squeamish.

 

re: apple legitimizes amazon patent tomfoolery

re: apple legitimizes amazon patent tomfoolery

Mastah programmah John Carmack (his company, Id Software created Doom and the Quake series of PC Games) on software patents:

“The idea that I can be presented with a problem, set out to logically solve it with the tools at hand, and wind up with a program that could not be legally used because someone else followed the same logical steps some years ago and filed for a patent on it is horrifying.”

Check out the rest of the interview at VoodooExtreme.

 

paul hogan is one of my heroes

… and it hurts me that I can’t type his name into Yahoo! and get all kinds of pictures of him saving the world in his own creative ways. There must be a cult following for him out there, but I can I shall not tell you what happens if you try to search for yourself. But I was not prepared. Steve pointed out that a good dotcom was taken.

 

apple legitimizes amazon patent tomfoolery

A few months ago, Amazon.com went after BarnesandNoble.com with their absurd ‘1-Click Shopping’ patent.

Now Apple has legitimized the foolish patent by licensing 1-Click Shopping for the Apple Store.

If you locked a few reasonably intelligent web developers in a room for six weeks to design a user-friendly ecommerce site and they had never heard of 1-Click Shopping (capitalization used sarcastically), they would probably develop it independently.

Boo Amazon.com, boo U.S. Patent Office, and boo Apple.

 

sign of the coming apocalypse #47

A French artist creates a mutant rabbit.

 

olympic review – part 1.

A brief overview of why I no longer sleep.

Chinese Weightlifter Sets Five Records in a Day
116 pound Yang Xia, of China, lifts 220 pounds in the snatch event, and 275 pounds in the clean and jerk. Incidentally, I have difficulty not only with lifting my own body weight, but with actually lifting my body itself (From off the couch, for example).

Simon Whitfield Wins Gold, Acts Like a Nut
I assume you’ve all witnessed Whitfield winning the gold medal and subsequently acting like a nut. Top marks for spiking the finish-line tape into the ground. Where can I buy cereal with Whitfield’s face on the box?

Attractive Swimmers Advance to Final
Joanne Malar and Marianne Limpert have both advanced into the 200-metre individual medley finals. I understand that training and competition keep you fairly busy Joanne, but if you happen to get a chance, my address is matt@enjoypei.com.

Canada Decimates Kazakhstan
The Canadian Women’s Waterpolo team improved their record to 1-0-2 after defeating Kazakhstan by a score of 10-3. In an earlier match the Canadians had been up by three goals on the Americans but ended up settling for a tie. Canada plays the Netherlands at some point tonight when I should really be sleeping.

 

big ups, blogs, and STDs

Thanks to Don at IslandEdition.com for the kind words in the Island Web section of the latest issue (and it is a fine issue, as usual).

<sarcasm>
It’s good to see that we still control the media even with Kirby gone.</sarcasm>

The smart folk at IslandEdition.com put it nicely, comparing the spread of ‘blogs’ to a bad genital rash:

“Done well, blogs can be a refreshing, quick read. Done badly, they’re indulgent and dull.”

Blog. I hate the word. Maybe that’s what this site is, and maybe denying it is like The Moffats saying “we are not a boy-band”, but I still loath the term.

One final note: However hip/cliché it may be, the proper capitalization is silverorange. Not SilverOrange, Silverorange, or Silver Orange. We artists are picky about that.