To my bicycle thief: rot in hell

Today, for the third time in my life, my bicycle was stolen. It wasn’t an expensive bike, and I hadn’t been using it much, but it was mine.

People seem to think it’s your fault if something is stolen from you and you hadn’t protected yourself from theft. If your bike or car is stolen, but wasn’t locked, it’s your fault. Bullshit. I should be able to leave the keys in my unlocked Jaguar if I want. It doesn’t make it any less of a crime to steal it. My unlocked or unprotected item is no less mine.

This might sounds like a naïve rant rather the usual smart and insightful thoughts you find here on aov. Fair enough, I’m just mad because someone stole my bike. However, the way that a small minority of deviants can hold the rest of us hostage relates to technology in an important way. Think of the resources that are spent (or wasted) on security – entire industries are built around it. Working with software developers, I see features and capabilities of software greatly limited by security concerns every day.

Even now, Bill Gates has ordered his company to shift the focus from new features to better security. Of course, because there are those who exploit any potential flaws, we welcome better security in our software – we all lock up our bikes. However, we shouldn’t accept this as inevitable, even thought it is exactly that. It should sadden us every time we go out of our way to protect ourselves from those who would exploit our weaknesses.

To the person who stole my bike, I hope you rot it hell.

Pardon my anger. Thanks for humouring me. If I bummed you out or annoyed you, check out the classic Kids in the Hall skit, Open Letter to the Guy Who Stole Bruce’s Bike Wheel – of the funniest things ever on television.


61 thoughts on “To my bicycle thief: rot in hell

  1. My bike was also stolen,. I have never bought one since… But the police department is having their Bike Auction on saturday. Care to join me Steve? 🙂

  2. I once had a bike like yours. I decided that I would “leave the keys in the Jag” and save minutes every day but not bothering to lock it up. Everyone told me I was stupid. This lasted about 2 weeks until my bike was stolen. From in front of the NDP campaign headquarters.

    During my halcyon days of youth I entered into a rather strong debate with my elders at the local community radio station about the installation of a security alarm system. Their position was that our insurance rates would go down if we installed one; my position was that it would only raise the “security bar” and plunge us into an every greater state of seige.

    Now I have a security system in my house.

    I don’t feel under seige. And I don’t feel surrounded by criminals wanting to steal my stuff. I’m really just guarding myself against the drunken people who frequent city streets in the summer and might wander into my unlocked, unsecured house and pee all over everything.

  3. Curse these urinating drunkards!

    I forgot to mention, in a stroke of uncharacteristic forsight, I had recorded the serial number of my bike on my computer several years ago. Several computers later, my files came with me and I was able to retrieve it. Bravo Steve.

  4. I have always heard about this bike auction – however I thought it was at the end of the summer when they have tons of stolen bikes.

    Do you have anymore details? Like what time you should be there at?

  5. [I did not know anti-authorized-peeing devices were now available on PEI. How do the electronics work?]

    I feel bad for your bike, Steve. I know it misses you, too. There is an apparent moral crack in the social fabric which starts with pens, through bikes to car stereos. Certain things are somehow “less owned” in the public’s mind. If my $2,000 bike is stolen it is less important than if my $2,000 painting is stolen.

    In Holland and, I think, Winnipeg, they addressed the theft thing to some degree by creating free bikes. Instead of selling them off annually, the cities paint them white and leave them in convenient designated areas of the city where you can grab one and go to another desgnated area and drop it off. All free. Sooner or later the bike/jerk ratio became so devalued by the over abundence of bikes, thefts were reduced.

    This does not help you. It only goes to confirm that once again the Dutch have an answer that will never fly here.

  6. Heather, don’t be fooled by the mythical police bike auction. I went one year with the hopes of nabbing a fantastic deal only to find myself starting at a pile of 20 or 30 bikes prices around $50 and not even worth that. There were also a lot of other people who seemed, like me, disappointed that there other people aware of their insider tip.

    I only went once, so I don’t know if this is representative.

  7. I was living in Winnipeg when they experimented with the free bike program. People were supposed to borrow the bikes and return them to designated areas. Within a very short period of time, all the bikes were missing and the experiment was over. I don’t think I ever even saw one of those bikes.

  8. being a poor student in toronto i used a bike as my main mode of transport.
    well, all in all, i’ve had 4 bikes stolen.
    no lock kept them safe.
    maybe the claim that toronto is one of the worst cities for bike theft is true.

    sorry dude.

  9. Many of the free bikes on the Netherlands are pitched into the canal, or at least this is what Lonely Planet leads me to understand.

    I was one of the insigators of the free bike program in Peterborough, ON in the late 1980s and it suffered the same fate.

    The “buy a share of the use of a car” programs in California, however, appear to be succeeding.

  10. There is a car share program in Halifax Dave Swick of the Daily News has been writing about.

    I lived in Holland for 4 months. Throwing bikes in canals is a recreational activity and even a taunt to Germans. In WWII, any bike and radios found went into the drink when Holland was invaded.

  11. I have nothing to add but my commisserations, and the fact that my bike was stolen on or about the same day yours was. From a secure lock-up garage. Bolted to a bike rack.

    They just lifted the rack.

    That would make three (3) bikes stolen.

    I share your pain.

  12. I don’t me for this to turn into a competition of “our bike thieves are worse than your bike thieves”, but in London (England) bike theft is staggering.

    I’ve been working part-time in a bike shop and the stories we hear are astounding. Every single day people come in having to buy new bikes (probably about £1,500/day of replacements) because thier bike has been stolen. Last week a guy came in who biked a £2,100 Klein. He left it locked with two locks outside his grocery store for 10 minutes in the middle of the day and came back to find the headset ripped off and the fork, wheel, brakes, haddlebar, etc… run off with. Nobody stopped the thief who ran away with all the obviously stolen equipment (replacement value £1000, but we gave him free service).

    The thieves here get lists of bikes and parts to steal and cruise around and look for them. They’ve started using liquid nitrogen to freeze u-locks so they can smash the metal apart with a hammer without having to waste time with a crowbar. We sell a whole range of bike locks, but the thieves here can break even our most expensive heavy-duty locks, it just may take them a minute or two longer.

    Our advice to anyone who buys a bike, don’t leave it anywhere public.

  13. This is a little off-topic, as the converstion is about bikes, but I find a good method is rollerblades. Granted you can’t go as fast, and it takes a little more effort, but stealing them is way harder, since you can take them inside, so they are about as hard to steal as anything else in your house 🙂 Another upside is that a (properly maintained) pair will last several years, for an initial cost of maybe $200 for a good pair, and maybe a new set of wheels sometime (~$75)

  14. Back on the police auction comment of this thread – the reason all the bikes are crap, is any good ones have already been nabbed by police officers, or friends and family of police officers. They get first dips.

  15. Could you be sure that you, too, could “touch the hearts of readers”? This seems to be the critical element.

  16. FYI Torontonians, my gorgeous Schwinn Cruiser was stolen on Saturday night while it was locked up to the fence in front of the house I live in in Little Portugal. This bike brought joy, not only to me, but to all that saw it. It made people happy.

    Anyway – now that I’m asking around, it seems to be a known fact that Igor’s bike shop on Queen St. W at the bottom of Trinity Bellwoods park sells stolen bikes. In fact – rumour has it that he pays people to steal bikes for him. So I urge you to never buy a bike or have a bike repaired by this guy.

    We, the people who bike to work, are the good guys. We are trying to save the air while hundreds of thousands sit in their smog-causing cars — alone. We should not have to pay for enjoying the simple pleasure of the wind through our hair, the sound of spokes turning and snorting the occasional bug.

    Always ask questions before you buy a bike, make sure you know who had it before you, or at least make sure that the store is legit.

    I feel your pain Steve. Bike theives are the lowest form of humankind — worse than tow truck drivers!

  17. I am so mad. My bike was stolen on Wednesday night from my home. My husband’s bike was taken too. I had the bike about 9 years and I loved that bike. I rode it to work and recently rode along side my daughter who just learned to ride her bike. Sorry, I just had to sound off. Just like you, I hope he (they) rot in hell. My neighbour had his taken from his garage, and a co-worker had her’s taken the week before. Such a miserable @####!!.

  18. I appreciated reading all the previous posts. My 23-year-old Raleigh Sprite was stolen on the big blackout night last Thursday. When this happens, you feel like such a violated victim and you feel all alone. Thanks to all for sharing their experiences. Just wondering… if you’ve reported the theft to police, including serial number and description, and then later find your stolen bike for sale in a store, what should you do? Will the police help?

  19. oh these stories are so depressing. If it’s any consolation to y’all I am also sending out my angry “you’ll-get-yours-cause-karma-keeps count” energy towards all the aforementioned theives. I’ve been trying to track down info about the upcoming bike auction in Toronto and so far this is what I have: Oct 25th, 2003, possibly down at the CNE. There is a recorded message line (not yet updated for this particular auction) at 416-392-1991. Check a week or so before the auction date, I’ve been told, for particulars as to the when/where and number of bikes available.

  20. I have just searching for a decent bike lock and thief alarm for bike when I found this page.

    My bike, too, was stolen a few days ago as well. I used 2 locks –one for front wheel+chassis+bike stand and the other one for rear wheel+chassis. I parked it for just an hour in front of the union bank in the my university, USC, around 10 meters from the security guard.

    I think the well-lit, in front of bank, near guard place is good enough. Well, I was wrong. They took my bike and my locks and nothing left behind. Noone saw it.

    I am totally agree with Steve; my bike wasn’t much expensive but it was mine and I felt violated when it was stolen. Anyway, life moves on. I’ve bought a new bike yesterday and now searching for a better way to fight the theives. Any recommendation, you guys?

  21. I lived in Winnipeg for about 17 years and never heard of that white bike experimentation. Also, being in a bike accident involving physical pain, and damage to your bike…could be worse than the emotional emptiness of a happy ride now missing. hmmm as for protection…..I’d say who wants ugly? The most ugly bike would NOT be stolen unless needed in absolute emergency…and if someone did take it, everyone would know. Otherwise I recommend a puppy. You know those people who leave their animal with the bike outside the store? it works.
    hmmm or some how place a boobie trap underneath the seat. Any jiggle would trigger it off….except the owners touch.

  22. Seems to me some kind of deterrent is needed.
    Like fake quick release hubs that will come loose and make you do a face plant.They stay on just long enough to let you get going really fast.Just follow the screams back to your bike.keep the real hubs on your keychain so you don’t forget to switch them when you unlock the bike.Or fake brake pads that are really slippery or don’t touch the wheel.
    just my two cents.
    I would like to go to the police auction by the way does anyone know when and where?

  23. I’ve had my bike stolen, but I got it back from the police but it looked like it was run over by a truck. MTN biking used to be a big part of my life and I attended every bike auction in Manitoba, but since I moved to Nova Scotia I havnt had a good bike and the auctions are hard to find, and when I hear of them they are already over. I picked up a Trek 9900 for $725 in winnipeg way back around 1997, but it was lost when I moved here. Now I ride a econobike that I constructed out of 4 other bikes over the last 4 years…I don’t trust it going down hill… This summer I WILL FIND THE AUCTION!!! If anyone knows how to find info on police auctions let me know… the local police station just says to watch the papers.

  24. Deturrents sound like a good idea. Have some sort of needle in the seat that will stick out and put the filthy bugger to sleep when he sits down. Just have a switch that needs a key to turn it off under the seat. Somthing like that…or a tazer…everyone loves tazers.

  25. the free bike thing works in amsterdam as far as i could tell. maybe it is just because the bikes all look the same, are basically worthless and no one can remember where they put their own bikes though… who knows.

  26. I’m a Winnipegger, I do remember the white bike thing and thought it was a good idea but unfortunatly they folks funding it ran out of money before all the bike strippers ran out of need for cheap parts…it was funded privately and the pockets weren’t deep enough to hit saturation.
    As far as the bike auctions go, they are held twice a year but are utterly useless unless youare looking for old stuff or fixeruppers. I’ve seen a couple of used bikes go for almost new prices and the crowds are ginormous…not a bargain hunters paradise as they once were.
    I got back into biking about 5 years ago after buying my first REALLY NICE bike, which is a far cry from the crap I had been riding…made me into a believer….unfortunatley 2 weeks later thieves nabbed my new bike form under the nose of my ugly tempered 120 lb German shepard (if only he’d made ever a LITTLE noise)…ah well best to you all ye who suffer!!!!


    My wife’s bike was stolen sometime last night. It was locked up and out of plain sight on our deck. They cut the lock, and walked away with it.

    I hope the SOB who took it has something really crummy happen to him/her/them.

    I’ll be hitting the many pawn shops this week to see if any of them took it in…….

    Since we moved here five years ago, our vehicle has been stolen 3 times, our house has been broken into on Christmas Eve 2002 (yes – all the presents under the tree were taken), our snow shovel was stolen this spring – I could go on and on.

    I sure feel sorry for the bastard that I catch stealing the next thing from me……..

  28. I just had my bike stolen last night and when I reported the bike missing I was told that even if they found the bike I wouldn’t get it back because I have no serial number. I think what sucks the most is you know your bike and every little scratch and problem and could explain every little thing about your bike and I even have a key for the lock that was not cut off of it and proved that that is my lock and they still won’t give it back. That is my situation the only thing they told me was I could go to the next auction and try to buy it back. It is so frustrating to see your bike recovered and be told that you can’t have it you have to try to buy it back.

  29. you gotta be kidding crystal, if they do have your bike and wont give it back to you, i’d make the biggest stink in the local newspapers!! its not like you have no proof of ownership!

  30. Oh, I just gotta get in here….I’m Pres of a small non prof charity and we have the contract with the city and police to pick up all “found” bikes…that is, you call in to the cops to report a bike dumped on your front yard, they give my phone # and then you call me, and I pick it up… or them, rather, ’cause I get about 300 of the damned things a year (phone calls of “have you got my bike?” would suggest that well over a thousand of the things are stolen each year here..) ..I fill out a report, *including* the serial #, submit it to the cops, and if there is a bicycle god, my report and the stolen bike report will marry up, and the owner gets his bike back… well, lazy bastids, I only get to send at most *six* bikes home a year because, because, because, the owner *didn’t* record the serial #, *didn’t* engrave his SIN #, and *didn’t* engrave his drivers license #. When we hold an auction, we advertise it extensively, and if someone shows up and says, ‘Hey, that’s mine!”, geez we give it to him of course, no questions, no third degree. But as to the nob who phones me at my home and says “Well, I wanna look through all the bikes and see if mine is there”, I can only say “get stuffed, you silly bugger”. you couldn’t be bothered to write down seven digits on a piece of paper,or invest in a decent lock, yet I should be some kind of a tour guide for you while you shop the bikes, find one of the few in good condition, and “decide” that it’s yours? That ain’t gonna happen. Oh, and as for anyone who starts out a lament with “I’ve had three ( or four or six or any number greater than two)bikes stolen, I’m gonna suggest that your next purchase is a bus pass, ’cause apparently your learning curve is in decline.

  31. well guys enuff is enuff. i’ll make this short, sweet and to the point. i have never had a bike stolen or any other thing stolen from my home. and you want to know why. I own several guns and shot guns and have used them. every thing i own is locked up at least twice. and yes i have gone outside with my mossberg 500 pump shot gun in tow. if i catch you stealing from me i will blow your ass straght to GOD. You then can evplain to him why you wasted your life for a old $200 bike. I will then explain to the police why it took 3 head and two body shots to turn your punkass into a swiss cheese corpse. Oh and for those of you who think i will use rock salt to scare you, think again. I use police ammo for tight killing patterns. and if its more than one of you i have a few shotgun shells that i have modified just a bit. I cut the top off of the round took out all of the pellets and replaced them with metal washers from home depot. when you fire the weapon 15-20 washers come out the end of the shotguns at super high speed. THIS WILL KILL YOU!! enuff said.

  32. Personally, I don’t believe that the guy above me owns a bike…. or a gun…. and even a penis is subject to question.

  33. Hey donovan are you queer or what dude! That punisher guy rocks and seems to kick ASS! That dude is talking about his own biz and your talking about whether the man has a penis!? Get a life fag. I wish I had someone there when my canondale was stolen. $1875 gone. Rode it for only one week. Guess someone was watching me cuz i did the same thing every day, and they must have just waited for me. Thats what the police said. Now i just catch the bus or walk.

  34. Hello Everyone,

    I just happened to come across this website and thought that I’d add my two cents worth of a rant.

    You’re all not alone,I also have had my bicycle stolen from the Technology department of Charles Darwin University by some poor thoughtless excuse of a so-called “human-being”,it was stolen
    between the times of 9:00am and 6:00pm,and yes it was chained up,
    whoever stole it pulled on the chain till it broke,I still have
    the remains of the chain,whoever did it made off with the bike,
    lights,pump,and helmet,everything…gone….,it was my only form
    of transport apart from my feet,I do not have the money to buy
    myself another bike,let alone pay for my uni fees,rent,and debits,
    I’ve reported it as stolen to the police and the Uni’s Security guards.

    The person who stole my bike deserves to be shot and then to rot
    in hell for eternity,but that’s putting it way too politely.

    I know it won’t bring my bike back but at least I’ve expressed my anger…

    The bike was a Vortex Vantage 18spd mountain bike with an aluminium
    frame and wheels and “twist grip” gear chaingers….

  35. My condolences to the victims above. I know the feeling, as I had my pride and joy stolen once, decades ago. Sure, it was unlocked but I was just inside for a few minutes, collecting on my paper route.

    A couple of miscreants drove up to it and grabbed it through the window of their car then drove off with it hanging on the side. This was witnessed by several people nearby. At least one of them wrote down the license number of the car and got good descriptions of the thieves.

    When I came back and discovered it missing and started to carry on in my rage and grief, they noticed and told me what they saw. One of these people was a customer of mine and they invited me inside their house to report it to the police.

    I was lucky to get the bike back the very next day, not so much from efforts of the police, but because my brother hung out with a questionable crowd. That evening at their local gathering in a nearby ball field, one of them bragged about the bike his cousin had stolen for him. On hearing this, MY brother (bless him!) told them who it properly belonged to and that it had BETTER be returned.

  36. Hello everyone,

    I still haven’t gotten my bike back,I bet you’ve been wondering what I’ve been up to,well I’ve got an update for you,this doesn’t concern bike stealing but I thought I’d add it anyway for interests sake….

    I was on my way ome from visiting the guy,who sold me the mountain bike which got stolen,one night,it was about 3:00am at night,I had to cross a bridge over a river that opened out to the sea,as I crossed the bridge I passed a couple of youths who asked me if I had ciggarettes and I told them I didn’t smoke,anyway I keep walking on my way and about ten metres from the end of the bridge,in darkness mind you,I get attacked by two people who punch and kick me to the ground while saying to me…”Where’s Your Money…Where’s Your Money”….I end up with my left eye blackened,a bruise above my left eye above my forehead,a bruise on the right hand side of my forehead,the right hand side of my mouth all bruised up and the inside of my mouth lacerated and bleeding,I only had $5.00 in my pocket at the time,fortunately they didn’t take that,I report the incident to the on campus security guards wo take a statement from me,they call a couple of police officers who take a further statement from me,then the two police officers drive me to a hospital to get my injuries checked out in case I suffered brain damage,fortunately I haddn’t suffered any at all,now I’m affraid to walk down dark roads.

  37. So, all of these stories admittedly suck. I do think it is odd that I feel guilty that my bike wheel was stolen the other day. People really shouldn’t steal, but they do, so we try to prevent against it. I bought another wheel and will be back on the road again. The real kicker with this story was that I had left my bike, fully locked, outside the train station in Philly but I was afraid it would not be safe there another night. At 10pm, I walked to the station, and retrieved my bike to bring it home where I thought it would be more safe. I did not lock the back wheel, and it was taken. Last summer, the whole damn thing was taken. Months prior to that, my back wheel was also jacked. That’s $470 USD in replacement plus the cost of the bike I ride right now, another $230 USD. For that I could have had a crappy car that no one would steal. Damn. What’s there to do? Gotham is in trouble, crime is rampant.

  38. Just bin readen your thoughts.Some lousy things happen.The waste of skin that are low enough to steel should get what is comming to them.I say no more!These punks need to get the #^&!* kicked out of them.I am just a visiter here to Winnipeg.I have seen 2 of my friends trucks had the window shashed and contents grabed,and then I go to Walmart on a Sunday afternoon and some punk tried to steal my bike.They tried to cut the lock but there was about 2 strands left in the cable and the looser cut my chain cause he was to dumb to break the cable.I am parking my bike, locking it up at the same spot and I will wait for the puke to show up.He will be sorry he was there.The Police can’t stop this crap,and I for one ain’t hiden from these little scums!

  39. I totally agree with you Toolman,it’s about time that those who choose to flagrantly disobey society’s rules and regulations,ie;Bike stealers,etc,should be made to pay for their actions instead of getting away with it,they know they’ve done the wrong thing so what they do is they try and avoid capture,thus proving that they’re well aware of their actions…

    We already have a multi billion number of people living on one,that’s “one”,planet Earth,our home,right now,food and water resources are barely able to cope in some parts of the world,eg Africa under the regime of President Mugabe,In India where the so called “Holy River” is full of rubbish,human and animal excrement,and bacteria,yet the indian people still bathe in the river for religeous reasons.

    I don’t want to turn this into a debate about religeon.

    But,maybe what we could do is have a cull of the “undesirable” population element,ie Criminal,and ease the srain on the world’s resources,no I don’t want to sound like an evil person,or anything like that at all,just sharing a though…

    Maybe parents should take more responsibility in diciplining their children,Social Security and Child Abuse laws limit what parents can do to discipline their kids,I happen to be living in a house where the owners of their house can’t do a thing to discipline their 16yr old daughter who swears,back answers,hits,scratches,scribbles on with a texta,ignores,and throws things at them every time things don’t go right for her,basicaly talking to her is like talking to a brick wall,and apparently the law says she’s old enough to have a car license,(I’m situated in Darwin NT Australia),how does that figure?,you’re right this doesn’t directly have anything to do with Bicycle Theft,but I thought I’d add this as food for thought….

  40. Right on Mate
    Kids now adays are running rampad.Not all of course,but a good number of them anyway.Too bad culling will never happen.But if a few get the#$*&@ kicked out of them then maybe the rest will get the message.I was a bit of a bad ass when I was growing up but I never stole nore hurt any one because of my actions,why is that?I would say it was because I knew I would get a good kick in the ass when my parents found out.And that my friend is the bottom line.
    PS I am from Halifax Nova Scotia Canada
    I spent some time in your fine country many years ago and loved it

  41. Igor’s chop shop:

    I share the same neighborhood as Igor’s bike shop, so when my bike was stolen last Friday night, I suspected strongly that I needn’t look far.

    A mere block from the crime scene and not more than 24 hours later, my boyfriend spots a young woman riding my estranged bike. The woman, drops Igor’s name and together they pay him a visit. Igor, of course, isn’t a bit shocked and doesn’t attempt to make a case -but a pesky occupational hazzard.

    Igor and his pathetic crew were desperate to avoid police escalation – he suggested my bike and boyfriend “get out of here” and hoped to the embarassed woman would do the same, accompanied by another [stolen] bike.

  42. On a cold Monday night, 22 2005(Which was last night!) while I was in the movie theatre, my bike was stolen. I swear that I was paranoid and I felt so eager to go out and check my bike to see if it’s okay. Why paranoid? because my other bike was stolen two months ago. Anyways, I finally convinced my self to chill and enjoy the movie. After the movie was done, I went straight outside the movie theatre rushing towards my bike. And what did I find? NOTHING!!!!
    It was stolen again! and my instincts were true. DAMN DAMN DAMN!!!!
    My precious bike was gone forver. and it’s obvious that my bike wasn’t the only one that got stolen. there was a U-lock left there. I remember it was the lock for the other bike that was beside mine. The other person must have been pissed off big time when he or she found out what happend too.
    After this incident, I decided not to buy another bike again. Toronto is just not safe for bikes.
    My advice for those guys who want to buy a bike and are worried of bike theft:
    1- Never leave your bike outside in public where everybody can see it (and don’t leave it in alleys as well!).
    2- Don’t leave your bike outside even if you locked it more than five minutes if the area your living in has many bike theft incidents.
    3- Don’t buy a fancy good looking bike. The more girly looking the bike, the better.

    I seriously don’t know what other advices that can help bike theft. The decision that I made is not buy another bike. It’s gonna be a painful decision but it’s better that getting stolen over and over again.

    PS: I thought if I leave my bike dirty with mud and dust, it would be less attractive for thives, but I was damn wrong. I

  43. Hiya Toolman,

    A pleasure to meet someone from Halifax Nova Scotia Canada,I just read your post,glad to hear you loved coming to Australia,my dad was realy hard on me and my two brothers when we were growing up,he always tried to teach us the importance of telling the truth,anyway I got a phone call from him one afternoon and he told me that he was suffering from Malignant Prostate Cancer and was due to have an operation,he said to me that he felt realy ashamed for being hard on us and I said to him “Dad,don’t be ashamed,you did the best you could”,I guess it was just a case of me realizing what my parents were trying to teach us in regards to dicipline at the time,it’s funny how you start to realize things like that as you get older,isn’t it mate?

    I still think that people who steal things should be punished for it and be made to assume resbonsibility for their actions.

    Lets hope things change soon..

  44. Hi Nael,

    You’ve got my full sympathy there,I was doing some Internet research on Bicycle Theft and apparently even those D-Locks arent a deterrent anymore,all a bicycle thief has to do is carry around some Liquid Nitrogen and a hammer,basicaly they pour the liquid nitrogen onto the D-Lock and then hit it with the hammer,the liquid nitrogen cools the metal to below freezing which makes it very brittle and when hit with a hammer,it shatters easily,I can see a situation when liquid nitrogen and hammers will be made illegal…*rolls eyes*…

  45. Hello All,
    Just wanted to reassure all city dwellers that they are not alone. I live in a town of approx. 3500 people and have had my bike stolen 3 times as well. This, however, is not what is currently pissing me off. Today some unruly little asshole took my son’s brand-new bike that he just got for his birthday a week ago. The kid is 6 years old, what dirty little bastard needs to go and steal a 6 year olds bike. I wish I could find the kid that did this, tie him to a tree and then systematically pluck each of his eyelashes out, beat him with a phone book and then go over to his parents house, inform them of what a fuck-up their kid is then remove one of their thumbs to inspire them to keep a closer watch on their worthless child. My sypathy to all. Brooke

  46. When I was 10 years old my bike was stolen. A neighbor spotted it near a canal a few blocks away. The neighbor took me and a couple friends to retrieve the bike. There was an older kid fishing at the canal and we figured this was the sorry fuck that stole my bike. We snagged the bike and took cover behind a hedge. In a few minutes we watched the thief freak out when he discovered the bike he stole had been “stolen” from him. Sweet revenge for a prick that should have been strung up by his balls and used for gator bait. Guess we had more class…

  47. I feel your pain and don’t buy the argument that it’s your fault when someone rips you off. Many years ago, favorite bicycle (as in, I’ve never been able to find its equal) was stolen FROM MY KITCHEN! I used to lock it to the steam radiator but stopped because I thought the practice particularly paranoid… Didn’t have homeowner’s insurance back then.

  48. Just buy an old clunker bone shaker, nice and sturdy, will give years of service.
    And make sure it looks really shagged out.
    No one will nick that when it’s parked up next to a bleeding edge super spangly moly framed ‘my cockse biggun yurn cockse’ bike. 🙂

  49. Attachment is such a painful thing…

    Have you ever seen someone eat something they have taken from a rubbish bin?

    I think you are lucky to be able to afford the luxury of a bike and then get pissed off to post it on a website – let alone the 50+ people crying with you…

  50. listen Asshole! I went to school,got an education and got a job.The fact that these assholes have to eat out of a garbage bin is not my problem.You must be one of the goofs that is stealing bikes.We work hard for our stuff and yes we enjoy them .To have a fuck steal it and to be pissed about is wrong?Your fucked ass hole!

  51. It’s amazing how quickly a bike can get stolen. Had a friend that had their bike in the pack of their Pickup Truck and they went over the Railway tracks and the bump was enough to have the bike fall out, well by the time they turned the truck around to pickup the bike – it was gone, can you belive it? Are bikes really that hard to come by to have them stolen so often? You would think they were all made of gold or something. Even my neighbors kids had their tricycle stolen – A tricycle that they got a garage for $5 dollars but it’s not the price that counts its the whole idea.

    Off the topic of bikes – but still on the topic of people who can rot in Hell. I had my wallet stolen a couple of years ago right out of my purse which was under my desk, I to this day am Paranoid about my wallet that I get to work unlock my desk – open the drawer – then lock my desk again, even if I stay at my desk all day it is locked.

    This world is so horribly corrupt it’s amazing we even get up and face this world each and everyday.

    And… Comments for that idiot David Gray Wright – if you have no idea what attachment is then I feel sorry for you, or maybe you just don’t have a conscience and then I agree completely with toolman. When something is stolen from you, no mater what it is (a pen, a bike, jewelery, etc…) you are a victim and you have been violated, and it is not right for someone to impose that on you.

  52. Hi I too had my bike stolen, a 400$ bike not real expensive but not cheap! anyway someone actually took it and my sunglasses after I was hit by an SUV and was in my assailants house obtaining medical treament, yeah so my blood is IN the road and someone takes it , nice Huh??

  53. Okay, I’ve read this ENTIRE PAGE and now the closet cyclist in me is all angry and stuff.

    What we need, ladies and gentlemen, is a miniaturized version of the Blue Logger hidden underneath the seat. The day is not far.

  54. I don’t remember where I heard about this, but there was talk that a police force had “trap” bikes with GPS units hidden in the frame tubes. The bikes were half-assed-secured in certain areas of their city (a U.S. town I think), they got stolen, and in turn the cops nailed a few creeps… great idea!

    I say go a step or two further with the trap bike idea – hook the bike up to a 220 volt outlet, set it in the backyard, and then see someone try to take it.

    …not that I’m advocating that anyone should actually do this (wink wink nudge nudge), but it sure is tempting, hunh?

  55. I feel really silly that I didn’t know that there was such a rampant problem in Toronto – until I got my bike stolen from outside of my condo building yesterday. So much for all the fancy locks and ‘best practices’ for trying to keep my posession mine – one clean cut right through the lock. The worst part is that I’ve used the bike all of 20 times since I just bought it.

    I’m going to check out Igor’s to see if I can find it, but now I’m really leary about getting a new bike if I have to keep going through this process everytime I find a bike that I like.

  56. Holy shit!!! All I googled was Edmonton Bike Shops and I end up here. The liquid nitrogen thing real scares me because i just got a new bike. What do we do??? put more locks on the bike then they have liquid nitrogen? I like some of your ideas, but what is the best “real” way to stop bike theft? Are some locks better then others?

    PS: I’ve had my bus-pass stolen out of my wallet before. Then they left the wallet. Do they think there being nice by not stealing the whole thing? I’d still kick their ass just the same if I ever found them.

Comments are closed.