There is a scene in The Great Outdoors where John Candy is waterskiing. Desperate to stop, he screams at the driver of the boat (Dan Aykroyd). “You bastard, You bastard!” Aykroyd thinks he’s saying “Go Faster, Go Faster!” and fun and folly ensue.

I had an eerily similar and equally frightening experience last night. Friends were helping me tow my sick Toyota to the mechanic. Needless to say, there were miscommunications.

If you claim to have seen a yellow ’78 Volvo wagon towing a sick Toyota by 10 feet of rope* at 70Km/h down North River Road, then I have no idea what you are talking about.